May 15, 2025
By Shanda Hearts Licensed Trauma Therapist & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach Founder, Holistic Hearts Counseling & Wellness Center
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
If this has a few typos or run on sentences, just know I used the tail end of an anxiety attack as fuel. Writing this wasn’t easy. This was spiritual warfare. The words poured out while my spirit was fighting to stay grounded. Have you ever had to pray, breathe deep, and command your body to come into alignment? If you’ve ever had to create something holy while battling hell, you’ll understand. This is my offering.
The Fight Doesn’t End After Divorce.
It Just Changes Forms
As a licensed trauma therapist, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach, and survivor of covert narcissistic abuse, especially the kind masked in religion, I’ve seen how spiritual language can be weaponized to manipulate, control, and isolate.
People assume that once the divorce is finalized, peace will follow. But those of us who’ve co-parented with a covert narcissist know: The paperwork ends the marriage, not the manipulation.
The battle shifts from vows to visitation schedules, from rings to routines. But beneath it all, the spiritual warfare intensifies.
If the flames didn’t take you out, the smoke will try to choke you. But armed with your Bible, a solid support system, safe spaces, the light of Christ, and the kind of fight that’s HOLY and HOODED; you remember darkness cannot survive in the light.
The Mask of Covert Narcissism
Covert narcissists don’t rage; they rehearse. They don’t explode; they manipulate.
They hide behind spiritual platitudes, fake humility, and religious superiority.
In my life, the manipulation wore a robe. It quoted scripture. It prayed out loud. But the fruit? Control. Identity confusion. Isolation. Psychological sabotage. Puppet mastery.
Divorce didn’t set me free. It just relocated the battlefield to courtrooms, inboxes, and “peaceful co-parenting” plans that look great on paper… until life actually happens.
Add in flying monkeys and abusers draped in religious cloaks, and you’ve got spiritual warfare in a business suit.
Parental Alienation: More Than a Strategy
It’s a Spirit
Parental alienation is demonic.
It doesn’t just warp a child’s perception of the healthier parent; it rewrites the narrative entirely.
I’ve heard my babies say things no child should say. I’ve watched their innocence become a playground for manipulation and doubt.
Not because of who I am… But because of who someone else needed me not to be.
This isn’t just trauma. This is targeted spiritual warfare.
1 Corinthians 14:33 “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.”
The Spirit of Leviathan: The Twisting Serpent
Isaiah 27:1 describes Leviathan as a twisting serpent. This spirit shows up in co-parenting communication like this:
- Boundaries mocked
- Messages distorted
- Agreements “reinterpreted”
- Silence labeled as avoidance
- Your voice called aggression
Everything becomes about power, not parenting.
Psalm 18:29 “With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.”
The Python Spirit Tried to Choke Me While Writing This
While typing the first draft of this, I literally felt a tightness in my throat, like something was trying to choke my voice.
I had to stop, grab water, and start declaring and decreeing the Word of God over my life.
No demonic force will keep me from helping others! Shame has no place here.
Darkness has no authority here.
And even if the weapons form, I have too much Holy Spirit power for anything to prosper.
This was the spirit of Python, just like in Acts 16:16. That spirit tries to silence the prophetic, especially when truth threatens the kingdom of darkness.
But I know who I am. And I know WHOSE I am.
Isaiah 54:17 “No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” Luke 10:19 “I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions… nothing will harm you.”
The Cost of Silence
I stayed quiet for YEARS. Trying to keep the peace. I didn’t want to be labeled bitter or dramatic.
But that silence? It became self-betrayal.
As a therapist, I help others break toxic cycles. As a mother, I had to break them while my kids were watching. As a survivor, I don’t speak from wounds, I speak from wisdom.
What Scripture Says About Narcissistic Abuse & Control
2 Timothy 3:1–5 “In the last days… people will be lovers of themselves… abusive… having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.”
Proverbs 26:24–26 “Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts, they harbor deceit…”
Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free…”
Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities…”
To Those I May Have Hurt Along the Way
If I’ve hurt you while healing from the fallout of my ex-husband, I’m sorry.
But please understand: You were handed a manuscript I never wrote. Only the illusion crafted to distract you from the real spiritual warfare at play.
To those closest to my heart: You didn’t just get a blog post. You got my repentance, my honesty, and my accountability.
To My Sisters (and Brothers)
Choose your co-parent based on their spirit, not just their smile or their DNA.
Your healing and your children’s emotional safety depend on it.
Before you mix bloodlines, ask God: “
Is this the person called to help me create new life?”
And to those of you in the fire right now: You are not broken. You are not bitter. You are discerning.
You are not alone.
Your peace? Not up for negotiation. Your clarity? That’s your weapon. Your voice? That’s your tool. Your healing? That’s your legacy.
💬 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching
If this hit your spirit, you’re not alone and you don’t have to stay stuck in the smoke.
Book a free 15-minute consultation 💻
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Your peace is not up for negotiation. Ever again.
With fire and NOW freedom,
Your Sister in Christ
– Shanda
Pastor Shanda Hearts, BSN, RN, LCMHC, EMDR-Trained Licensed Trauma Therapist | Covert Abuse Survivor | Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach
